what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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