True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
