so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
