High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
