before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
