I'm gonna have a badass scar
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
