she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
