he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
