Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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