cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
