Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
