Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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