Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
