dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
