Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Randomize
