omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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