we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
