FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
it was like eating out sand paper
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
