I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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