I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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