so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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