I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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