I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
