my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
