I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
