Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
