I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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