I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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