That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
