its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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