i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize
