this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
