I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
