I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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