you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
