oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
only you would photoshop your dick
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
