I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
