She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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