dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
