There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
