Define "chronic" masturbator.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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