he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
