they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
