im about as happy as oj after his trial
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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