All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
