I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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