We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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