you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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