He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
