Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
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