Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
