My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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