Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
