So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
