If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
