Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
